It’s been a minute since my last post. I couldn’t seem to find the words to put down. So I have been doing a lot of sitting alone with the thoughts. I’ve been hiding. I admit it.
I’ve been with my head in the sand again. Trying to not deal with the reality of my life. I’m good at this. It’s secure. It’s the devil I know, rather than the great unknown of what may happen when I drop the bomb. I’m afraid of it. terrified of it. At least if I can keep some semblance of peace, this is the devil I know. These are the demons I know how to face. The rest? It’s a yawning chasm of uncertainty. It’s eating me alive. I feel completely alone. I hate this. I hate myself for being so weak. For letting him do this to me. I just can’t seem to break it. But I have to. Somehow.
How do you bury the fear? Keep the demons at bay?